What Does It Mean To Flirt? How To Become A Good Flirt. - The Fundementals Of Emotional Variance And Verbal Skills.
Just like how you judge women very harshly on their appearance, women will judge you very harshly for your lack of verbal skills. Mistakes in your verbal skills in the first 15 minutes guarentees your faliure almost immediately. Therefore, you will need strong conversational skills without getting blown out of set and is a major part of learning game.
What Is Flirting?
Flirting is nothing more than making the girl feel a wide range of emotions. This is a non-negotiable for women. There is no flexibility when it comes to your ability to make her feel a wide variety of emotions. Google up; "a chart adjectives to describe emotions", the more emotions you can make her feel in that list, the more likely she will become attracted to you. note: you need to induce more positive emotions rather than negative emotions 80/20.
Not only will you be required to make the girl feel a wide varity of emotions, the delta between these emotions must also be big. For example, you tease her and she becomes intruiged (moderately positive), she qualifies herself and you disqualify her! (spikes down to negative). You change topics and give her a compliment (spikes back up to positive).
What Does Flirting Include?
To get a quick idea on how to flirt, just think of any techniques that allow for the girl to feel more emotions or increases the delta of the emotions felt. Disqualification, teasing, humour, the polarizing projection of your personality, expressing your emotions etc.
The Retirement Of Any Canned Lines
Every single action you do or say, you are leaving a background radiation of who you are. When you use any canned line that is pre-rehearsed or practiced, you contradict your natural self (the background radiation). This means there is suddenly inconsistency, and the girl will feel that something is off.
When something is off, a shit test will occur, if you fail the shit test then it's over. To never fail a shit test ever again, always present your authenticity and the truth. Because when you are totally congruent, you wont even notice there is a shit test because everything is true and spontaneous!
Trust that the girl already likes you for who you are. The usage of canned lines can do nothing but hurt your progress.
Why Does Flirting Work?
The reason why flirting works is the law of state transference. This law just means that any emotion you feel, the girl will feel it as well. This is the problem for most begineers, they feel insecure inside and transfer all these negative emotions over to the girl. If you feel like you're creepy, shes defentely will tell her friends that you're a creep.
Therefore, here we will be discussing the over-arching principles on how to flirt, which mainly includes how to induce certain emotions within yourself so that we ourselves can transfer more different and polarizing emotions.
Principle #1 - State
Now the question becomes, how do we be spontaneous and authentic? There is two general rules here. Always tell the truth and have no filter. This seems like something unrelated, but everytime you lie or put up a filter you need to start expending energy to maintain the lie or your self-consciousness. This will throw you out of state.
Therefore, you need to "shut off" your mind and go into "state". Learn to feel deeply inwards and own and accept your emotions. Become present and feel deeply towards the sensations you are receiving. Observe around you and calibrate yourself. Total calibration to the enviorement = total calibration to yourself = state. This is like a muscle you can excercise.
Principle #2 - Full Expression And Total Acceptance Of Your Emotions
Throughout our childhood, we were conditioned to withold our personality to increase social cohesion with others. If you restrict yourself constantly, the emotional delta is going to decrease and this will results in many mediocre and logical conversations with no emotions.
Always be upfront with showing your emotions and never withold emotions within you. You need to accept and deeply feel inwards into your emotions to project out into your natural conversation.
Even if you feel attraction killing emotions like nervousness, you can totally admit it. No shame. It increases attraction rather than kill it because you become cogruent and confident again. Remember, she likes you for you, thats why shes even talking to you in the first place! There is nothing to hide.
Principle #3 - Not Taking Anything Seriously
The ability to amuse yourself and make yourself laugh is important. Because you can turn any logical question into free happiness for yourself! When you turn it into free happiness for yourself, your positive emotions will spike up and down.
Anytime a logical question is asked, give a playful responce with state instead of a logical answer. This is where you should practice saying how horrible you are. If asked about your occupation, tell her you're a burger flipper instead of a dentist. Amuse yourself, if anything you say that does not make you happy or laugh you're doing it wrong.
Principle #4 - Clear Yes Or No
Good flirting is polarizing. Your rejection rate should be very high, but the success rate to close when you successfully hook a girl dramatically increases. This is because if and when she hooks, she hooks to your authentic self and becomes a guarenteed success if you have solid escalation skills.
Fustratingly, sometimes girls will entertain you because you're not polarizing enough to be rejected, causing you to be in this position where she does not hook and does not reject you. You're going waste a lot of time in this "friendzone". To solve this, read my post "Outer Game Principles" and learn how to identify when you have arrived at hook point.
Principle #5 - It Does Not Matter What You Say, It's How You Say It
You saying "I'm a loser" and me saying "I'm a loser" is totally different. Why? Because, it hardly matters what is the contents of what you say. Flirting is all about being in state, being in congruence and experiencing an emotional rollercoaster for yourself. See my post, foundations of inner game.
The techniques on how to flirt and what to say are irrelevant. It's a good steeping stone to learn flirting, but never the solution. All you're doing is handicapping yourself, ruining your chances and hampering your pickup skills.
Cheers. Please check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. Send me an email if you want a specific topic written. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students.
Best Of Luck,
FriendlyWrenChilling.