The Ultimate Texting Guide

Personally, I found that this texting method works best for me. It is the most dynamic without any structure and "gamey" techniques. So feel free to field test it to see if it works for you.

The Purpose Of Texting

Texting is a tool, and it is important that you use this tool properly. The purpose of texting is to keep and maintain her interest. If you text her too much, she will think you are some needy loser. On the flip side, if you dont text her enough, her feelings will cool down and shes going to move on.

My Three Step Texting Sequence

This process below outlines how I text. It is flexible and applies to all kinds of texting scenarios. Give it a try for yourself.

1. Induce State
When I want to reply, what I do before opening her message is that I induce state within myself first. I think about how attractive and hot she is and only from this position I touch my phone.

2. Replying
I read her message and I start typing the first thing that comes to mind. Turn off your brain and instictually reply to her message. Also, use one emoji at the end of some texts because emojis naturally convey emotions.

Improving your texting skills is the same as improving your in real life flirting skills. So to get better at texting, practice your verbal techniques. You kill two birds with one stone.

3. Evaluating What You Typed
Sometimes in the hustle and bustle, I dont properly induce state and then I send something that regress the interaction. I use a litmus test to see if my messages are in "state". Example:

1. Messages that makes myself laugh.
2. It expresses what I genuinely think.
3. Messages that makes me feel a certain way (which I want to make her feel)
4. It moves the interaction forward (date setting, higher buy in, passing shit test etc.)

Also, make sure that she can actually reply to the message you sent. Leave some meat for her to latch on to countinue the conversation.

When To Text

The best time to text is when you can do the process I highlighted above effectively. Usually this means you are free and have nothing else to do, so dont delibrately stop what you are doing just to reply to her texts.

Sometimes life gets in the way and you cant plant yourself down to reply to messages. As a general guideline, dont let texts sit for more than 3 days. If that happens the girl is going to think that you have lost interest.

Also, as you will soon read below, the frequency of texts you send now sets an expectation later on for how much texting you would need to do post-date.

Left on Read / Ghosted / Low Interest

For no reply situations, give it 2 days and then send a funny innuendo that acknowledges that you've been left on read. If no reply again, wait one week and try again, move on after that.

For low interest girls, they take a long time to respond and send very short texts. I classify these numbers as dead on arrival because you most likely never achieved hook point in the approach.

When To Set Up The Date

There are some good signals to know when she is ready to be taken out on a date. Note that when you do see these indicators, you need to set the date up quickly. This is because there is a window of opportunity when it comes to setting up dates.

When you set it up too slow and miss this window, her emotions will cool down and she wont come out. When you try to set it up too fast the opposite happens and she doesn't feel ready to come out with you yet.

Here are the indicators that you are in the window of opportunity, organizing from the lowest buy-in to the highest :

1. Replies quickly
2. She flirts back
3. Uses emojis or trying to express emotion through text
4. Texting you first
5. Sends pictures of herself

How To Set Up The Date

I dont set up the date through text, once you are confident that she will pick up the phone - call her and set up the date this way. If you play off the indicators I just gave you, its likely that she will be enthusiastically accepting your date proposal.

There is a study conducted I read sometime back. It shows that oxytocin is not released when you're reading text, but it is released when you can hear someones voice or see them. So enlightened with this information, I send a series of voice messages first before I initiate the call.

Flaking

On the day of the date re-confirm in the morning. Rescedule if she gives a reason on why she is flaking, but if there is no responce at all then just drop her.

Post-Date

Let her text you after the date, if she doesn't initiate with you, that means she doesn't want to come out on another date. Also keep the expectations you set for your texting and dont dramtically increase or decrease the frequency of texts. Have the same frequency of texts pre-date and post-dates.

Conclusion

Texting used to fustrate me a lot because I would lose a lot of girls through my shitty texting. I mostly found "outer game texting techniques" to be useless and when it comes time to implement it, I implemented it in a very akward way. So I developed my own three step texting sequence to overcome it.

Another subtle aspect you should consider is your overall perception on texting and notice how that perception handicaps your progression. (Some people see it as purely to set up dates etc.) Sometimes your texting psychology can get in the way and unlocking better texting is just by adjusting a few faulty beliefs.

Anyways, thats it for me. Check out my other posts to integrate this holistically. Send me an email if you want a specific topic written. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students.

Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling.