Traps Of Practicing Pickup

Pickup teaches you a lot of bad habits. The major trap here is that you transfer your pickup experience into a style of relationship management. This is a big, massive, tremendous, and foolish mistake you are making. A mistake that I have made myself.

Here, we will discuss all the traps you can fall into. How you can prevent it, and how you can use pickup effectively to get into the realtionship of your dreams. This will be my second article on the ethical considerations of pickup, written in a more practical manner to help you see the consequences of your actions.

Pickup is Incompatible With Relationship Skills

As we will soon discover and discuss, we will see how pickup is actually a low consciousness activity and why it is inherently incompatible with maintaining a relationship. But do not be confused here, I am not telling you that you should not learn pickup.

Unfortunately, women dont respond well to the nice guy frame. That is why pickup remains necessary. I guess in this way, you can say that women shoot themselves in the foot.

Make a distinction that pickup is only necessary only for the attraction phase. The attraction phase is only up to the point of sex. After you have sex multiple times, you can mostly drop your pickup shenanigans and techniques.

Trap #1 - Desensitization

Pickup can make you jaded to dating women. After thousands of approaches, she might just be another irrelevant approach, and you become extremely desensitized to why you're doing all of these in the first place.

You you start doing pickup for the sake of doing pickup. It becomes like a mindless activity you do just because you dont know what else to do. Maintaining pickup at 100+ approaches every month is unsustainable.

Get your grips and remember why you're in pickup in the first place. You might have veered far away from your vision and purpose for pickup. Start to recognize that you have already achieved all the goals you want in pickup and it's time to move on to other things.

You can literally stop today and work on other aspects of your life. You will still have your skills and experience and can reengage with pickup whenever you want.

Trap #2 - Verbal Habits

Your negs and teasings should stop after you have sex with her. You dont have to be verbally spiking her emotions up and down anymore, the delta of emotional varience needs to stabilize.

The feminine feels emotions really strongly. You will understand once you integrate your femininity. If you keep teasing her and negging her in the relationship, it will be chaos and hell for her. And I guarentee that she will leave you because of it.

Not only that, judgement and criticism breaks down love. Imagine some irrtating dude criticizing and judging you for everything you do everyday. I guarentee that you wont be liking that very much.

Trap #3 - Abundance Mindset

"Abundance minset" is not an excuse to neglect the women who have slept with you. It does not give you the pass to not attempt to fix the situation first before moving on. Everyone has flaws, if you cant tolerate imperfection you will be in pickup until you awaken to this realization.

Not caring about the girls emotions I also find to be very uncompassionate. Unless you have specifically stated that it would be an open realtionship before you had sex with her, there is an implied contract for commitment. Sex is a sign of commitment for a woman. You will deeply hurt her feelings by breaking this implied commitment.

"Abundance mindset" also does not mean you dont spend time with her. It does not mean you ignore and stop listening to her once she is doing something you dont like. There is many gradations of this trap when it comes to "abundance mindset" and can lead to down many paths of unhappiness.

Trap #4 - Changing The Other

If you have a fantasy of how a woman should be, then you would always attempt to subconciously try to change her. If you can't deeply accept this woman as you found her, you should not have sex with her. This saves you from the emotional suffering you endure dealing with drama.

If you are unable to accept women for who they are, thats because you dont accept who you are. See my post on self love to fix this. If you can't love yourself, how are you able to love others? Your love will always be dysfunctional as long as you are unable to love yourself.

Trap #5 - Unwelcomed Sleepover

After about 50 approaches when I was a newbie, I fell in love with a girl I really liked. She suited my personality really well and alligned with my values. Around month 3, we got into a bit of a conflict and I did not have the necessary conflict resolution skills at the time.

So I just thought "I'll just get a new girl" and ended that relationship. Oh, how big of a mistake that was. Until today, after 3000+ approaches at the time of writing. I have never found a girl like her again.

Sometimes you get lucky, and you find the girl of your dreams. Never make the foolish mistake I made and let her go in the hopes of the green being greener on the other side. You're just causing yourself unecessary suffering by staying in pickup longer.

"The hero took 6 months to climb the mountain, and then chooses to jump down in a wingsuit to start again for a thrill of 5 minutes. In 30 years, the weather erodes the hiking trail and the hero can never get his 5 minutes ever again."

Conclusions

I will add more traps as I discover them. These are just the traps I fell into myself, and I hope you can learn from me and not make the same mistake. Just by reading this you've saved yourself one year of unecessary suffering.

Please do check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students. Send me an email if you have topic suggestion.

Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling.