How To Deeply Love Others

At one point in your life, you will realize that the only regret you will have in your life is that you dont love more. Yourself, others and nature. This will be the most beautiful post I have ever written and my greatest contribution to you, the reader. What is there more to life than to love?

Self Love

Although we are not covering how to love yourself in this post. I want to highlight that it is not possible to love others if you dont love yourself. The first step is not to look outwards and give love, but to look inwards and grant all the love you need and want to yourself.

All your problems in dating is ultimately caused by your self hatred and self loathing. If you were to totally love yourself, you would in fact, have no problems in dating and relationships. So let's begin on understanding the principles of love.

Respecting Her Soverignty

Think of how many times when people did not respect your intellectual, emotional and physical boudaries. When you were rejected, ridiculed and denied for simply being who you are.

As unpleasant as that is when others do that to you, it is also equally unpleasant when you try to do that on others. You need to start practicing on completely respecting all her boundaries, even subtle ones that she does not even know she has.

Respecting her soverignty means that you fully accept who she is. You dont hold yourself more superior or dominant. You dont judge, demonize and moralize them. You come to their level of development and meet them on where they are at and to appreciate the essence of who they are.

It is hard for us to love by respecting someones soverignty. We have needs too and we may not know how to properly express our needs and enforce our boundaries. In this faliure of self acceptance we may trample on the soverignty of others.

In my life, I was wrong to constantly try to make my girlfriends change in a way where they would fulfill my needs. I was wrong to judge and critisize others because they were not at my level of development and insight. I am sorry and I will practice loving more.

Shower Her With Your Attention

One of the most common childhood traumas I hear is that people have bad parents or that they have difficult times in school where they were rejected by society and become a social outcast. (common story for many PUAs)

If you have gone through something like this you can sympathize on how demoralizing that is. To not even be worthy of the attention of others just by simply being who you are.

So, to love others, we must give our full attention, care and awareness. Just you being in physical proximity to one another is enough to generate the feelings of love! It is to shift your attention from yourself to her and to penetrate her with your eyes and see the beauty of her soul.

It is hard for us to love by giving her the required attention because we are often so full of ourselves in this busy world. Take time to make yourself less busy, and allocate the neccessary time to shower someone you love with your attention.

In my life, I was wrong to not allocate the neccessary time for the people I love. I was wrong in the way where I treat people in a shallow manner, not taking the time to deeply feel and see a persons essence. I am sorry and I will practice loving more.

The Blessing Of Your Care

If you have a turbulent life with no one to rely on, you will relate to this example. So many people have been neglected due to the lack of emotional stability in their lives, and this trauma brings forward to today and influences how you treat women.

There is some research where they seperate monkeys from their mothers and leave them alone. This monkey turned out totally dysfunctional. This is probably one of the more important aspects on love and will be instatly felt if you aren't genuinely attracted to a person.

To love others means that you deeply care about her, to the point where you take her agenda as your own. Being there for her when they in pits of hopelessness and loss. Being with her when she feels lonely and to absorb her negative emotions while replacing them with positive ones. It is to validate her feelings and encourage her to grow and mature herself.

It is often hard for us to give care to others, because we dont care for ourselves. To become a more loving person, take responsibility and engage in a lot of self care before tending to the care of others.

In my life, I was wrong to engage to behave so selfishly to the point where I only cared about my own agenda. I was wrong in not giving the emotional support needed to the people I love. I am sorry and will love more.

Interest

You can tell when someone is just not interested in you. They feel cold and distant, maybe you can even feel that they are judging you just by looking at their faces. You'll probably think that this character is some rude asshole, stuck up their assess.

Similary, how many people have you just dismissed for superficial reasons? While being similar to the attention segment, this is a bit different. It's all about fundementally relating to the woman you are talking with.

To love with interest means that you have a sense of familiarity. Taking the time to listen to her and encouraging her to speak more about her passions. It's to take personal interest in the suffering she feels and to attempt to help her alliviate it.

It's often difficult to have interest about other peoples lives. We are often so pre-occupied with our own problems that we dont even have a coherent sense of our own thoughts and feelings. It is wise to slow down, and practice self interest first before we can be interested in others.

In my life, I was wrong to constantly take the spotlight and talk about myself, not taking the time to listen to others. I was wrong to be distant and push people away to maintain my independence. I am sorry and will love others with interest more.

Commitment

Thankfully, no woman have ever cheated on me but this principle applies here. See how deeply betrayed and dissappointed you feel when others do not fulfill on their implied social obligations to you.

Observe how you feel when people dont show up on time, selfishly treat you as some material object to get some short term gain out of you. Little things, like playing with their phones instead of talking with you in real life.

Loving with commitment means that you ensure that you maintain the long term vision for the relationship. Making sacrifices on her behalf and always telling her the truth, being generous with your kindness and keeping the peace. Treating people as if you will be with them forever.

It is difficult to love others with commitment because we dont even take 100% responsibility for our own lives. Can you imagine taking on another persons problems as your responsibility? This principle of love is often what parents do for their children.

In my life, I was wrong for how I dont make the neccessary sacrifices for the people I love due to inconvinience. I was wrong to hold a grudge instead of forgiving them. I will do better and practice to love others with commitment more.

Validation

Observe how irritated you feel when others downplay your achievements. Can you imagine that I shit on a newbies attempts to cold approach? I will blackpill him so badly that he will quit forever!

Also, if you like to neg/tease a lot, this is a bad habit you need to get rid off. Imagine you come to me and share about the things you are proud about and your achievements and I proceed to neg you!

Hahaha, although I admit it is rather funny. I can conclusively say that you will not appreciate it. Validating someone is to talk to others as to how you would want to talk to yourself. It is to recognize her uniqueness and to offer your approval, praise and happiness when she succeeds.

Jealousy can be a major barrier when it comes to loving others through validation. If you're constantly envious for things that other people have and achieved, notice how this makes you hate yourself.

In my life, I am wrong to tease and neg my girlfriends so much (which is why they left me). I was wrong to not recognize that a small achievement of others can be a big one for them. I was wrong to do so and will practice to love others more.

Unconditional Love

You would often label the people that loves you the most as people who gave you unconditional love. The people whom you could tell anything to, and they will offer all of the six principles I have highlighted above to you.

Unconditional love is to fully accept a persons egoic selfishness, and to be totally okay with it. It is to provide love when she does not engage in self love for herself. Taking care of her and attempting to shield her from excessive trauma and fear (function of masculinity)

This might as well be the holy trinity of what it means to love someone. I must admit that I lack the experience needed to speak about unconditional love with intelligence. So I hope one day you can return and share with me what it means to unconditionally love someone.

Conclusion

I hope that you have found some inspiration on how you can inject love into the way you do treat women. Trust me, it will radically increase the results you will have with women. You will end up with more satisfaction and fulfillment in life, which is most likely why you entered pickup in the first place.

Please do check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students. Send me an email if you have topic suggestion.

Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling.