Confidence Defined. Developing Confidence.
In my previous post, how attraction works, there was a lot of confusion on how confidence is defined or developed. I comtemplated and reflected back on my life and analyzed what would be the components of confidence to come up with this answer today.
Components Of Confidence
I think confidence in embued in these aspects:
- Entitlement
- Certainty
- Competence
Below, we will discuss how to cultivate these traits.
A Track Record Of Success (Competence)
To develop confidence, always hold success in your mind. Replay successful events over and over again in your head no matter how small. Never replay events where you failed, and quickly forget about them at least when you are infield. Confidence is closely associated with competence so we must always view ourselves as a competent individual.
What if our desired result is not avaliable to us yet? Maybe this result requires some long term action. Well, the only solution here would be visualization. Your body cant know the difference between imaginary and a real event. Therefore, you can induce your own "fake story" to gain confidence.
But really the solution here is to have a long track record of successess, becoming very secure in your abilities. Cultivating this requires you to open a minimum of 2000 sets over a span of years.
Self Respect (Entitlement)
A quick example of self respect. Let's say you promise yourself you would wake up at 7am, but when the time comes you hit the snooze button. You dont even respect yourself enough to wake up on time. This slowly over time erodes away your confidence because you become a victim, a poor sheep who is helpless facing off againts a wolf.
Similary, we need to have a track record of executing things we promise to ourselves in all aspect of our lives. This discipline and trust you put into the process gives you a sense of sureness in your life, knowing that if you do the thing, you will reach your goals. That sureness will come out as confidence.
If that is what you want, behave like someone who has the thing. If not, you're not entitled to anything. You can stay exactly where you are.
A Successful Heros Journey In A Different Field (Certainty)
In a different field of self improvement, you might have completely changed that aspect of your life. For example, to become a successful entreprenuer changes your whole personality and outlook of life in the end.
By completing something very challenging, having the discipline to work on it year after year, day after day, gives you a sense of sureness and confidence that you can tackle any challenge that faces your way.
Everyday in your life, ask yourself "what would be the most difficult thing to do right now that propels myself forward in life" and do whatever answer that appears in your mind.
Security In Yourself (Certainty)
A confident persons mindset is grounded in positivity and love. If your viewpoint requires argument, hatred, demonization or rejection, this is a surefire way to reduce your confidence to zero. A person who holds the truth and knows himself deeply, requires no such debate and justification. He has confidence that his techniques and models of the world is accurate and it works, because it does.
Why women hate reactive men? It's exactly because of this, putting his head too far up his own ass and putting himself into self denial. If you're really honest with yourself, you dont know. And when we become honest with ourselves, admitting we dont know something, we ground ourselves in certainty. The certainty that we dont know, instantly making us confident.
Your need to know everything is making you unconfident. This also applies to any intellectual position you hold about yourself, others and the world. Check out my post on mastering your inner game.
Conclusion
Not so easy now to get confidence huh? That's why it's attrative, because it's rare. We dont want temporary or faked confidence, but long term confidence that follows you the moment you wake up until you sleep. Therefore, I have only offered you long term solutions here, if you want quick results, sorry to say but you're doomed to fail.
Cheers, and the best of luck. Please check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. Send me an email if you want a specific topic written. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students.
Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling.