All Verbal Techniques Listed And Explained

Verbal techniques are thrown here and there and it usually leaves you confused on how to actually do it and when to implement it. Using your newfound understanding of desirable frames, now I want you to learn how to construct these frames using the tools below. Keep in mind that this post is an outer game extension of my flirting post.

I want you to think of verbal techniques like lego bricks. You're putting things together however you see fit to hopefully build something aesthetic. This way, you won't confuse yourself and you can start developing and noticing your own conversational patterns which cannot be copied from other people.

Cold Reads

I recommend learning cold reads first because of how dynamic they are. They can be used to do anything and it's often the first lego brick you use to stack up the others.

Cold reads are assumptions you make about the other person just by looking and listening to them. Be more observant, pay attention and make an assumption about her in a declarative statement-like format.

Also, you can't randomly cold-read about anything. The reason it works is because the girl feels it's accurate and she goes "How does this guy know that", and then she builds rapport on common ground immediately.

You can achieve this by stating the obvious or do canned cold reads that are true for every single woman. You can also cold read on the way she wants to be perceived by the way she behaves and dresses.

Qualifiers

Qualifiers are what you should learn next because qualifiers make women chase and build the prizeability frame. The overall mindset of doing qualifiers is to be genuinely curious about her, trying to uncover if she is someone suitable for you. We do this by making her prove herself to us.

To do qualifiers, first, identify if you're building value or comfort with the girl. If you are building value, then you would need to do your qualifier with a challenging undertone. If you are in comfort, then qualifers become more like interview questions.

You also need to have a trait in mind to qualify against. Go back into your past relationships and write down all the traits you find attractive. Then, create a list of qualifiers that screens for these traits and sprinkle them into the conversation. Yes, canned. You won't have enough RAM to do it spontaneously with consistency at first.

Disqualifiers

By far, one of the most important techniques in PUA is the disqualifier. Disqualifiers are things you say or do that signal to the girl you're no longer or become less interested in her romantically (even though you are).

You must disqualify the girl first before she disqualifies you. The person who disqualifies first is the person who is the prize and I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to learn and do this automatically.

If you are approaching really attractive girls, what you may have noticed is that they have a tendency to disqualify you immediately in the first few sentences of an interaction. You can counteract this by disqualifying her immediately after her disqualification (ineffective) or by going indirect with a false time constraint.

How you disqualify properly is that you set it up with a qualifier. When she gives an answer you don't like, you disqualify her by breaking rapport. Disqualifiers only work if she has buy-in, so I delay doing so until I reach hook point.

I follow three guidelines for disqualifiers. First, is that the girl can overcome your disqualifier by proving you wrong. Second is that it is framed as a choice, you are choosing not to be interested. Third is that it can maintain congruency later on in the interaction, disqualify yourself by saying you have a girlfriend and you will have resistance when it comes to escalation and making it man-to-woman.

Push Pull

This involves doing an IOD and IOI in the same action. It has a wide variety of combinations and is not exclusive to only verbals. For exmaple, I can IOD with my body language and IOI with my escalation (kino). Also, do not make the mistake of flipping it around to pull push. (IOI - IOD)

The push and pull as individual actions itself should not be too polarizing. Therefore, no negs, harsh disqualifiers or the sorts in your pushes. Similarly, no bootlicking compliments as your pulls. Counterintuitively, the non-polarizing actions of the push and pull combined together issue a polarizing flirtatious result.

Push pulls are primarily done to increase the emotional rollercoaster the women feel, hence, mostly done when building value. You certainly don't want to overdo it especially when it comes to comfort as it can get in the way of the actual pull.

Interest

Generally, giving interest is any form of IOI. Physical escalation (kino) and compliments are common ways to give interest but you can also show interest through your body language.

The purpose of displaying interest is a way to reward a girl for chasing. Anytime when she chases, we need to reward her through interest by using an intermediary like positive body language to move the interaction forward.  

The verbal usage of interest is less common and is isolated to the use of saying what you find attractive and special about her. Verbal interest is more applicable when you're building comfort. While building value, usually we give interest using non-verbals instead.

Storytelling

Storytelling is a pre-rehearsed story you have gotten used to telling other people. Often it contains admirable qualities within the stories (see "how attraction works") and are sourced from your own life.

There is three mistakes newbies make when storytelling. First is that they tell these stories like a braggart. Second is that the stories they tell are not emotionally relevant to the girl, making her doze off. Third is that the story is longer than 3 minutes.

To not sound like a braggart, we conceal our DHVs in seemingly "irrelevant details" of our story. To make our stories emotionally relevant, we first tell our stories with shock value. Add adjectives and dramatize your own stories until they make you yourself laugh. Another way is to add humanizing details that reveal a bit of vulnerability which everyone can relate to.

If you still struggle to imagine how to storytell, maybe watch some of Dave Chapelle's comedy clips and try to learn something from comedians. Also, consider going on a few adventures to acquire some stories to tell.

False Time Constraint

FTCs are included along with the opener which signals to the group that you won't be there for a long time. This is to open up the group thinking that you'll only take a little bit of their attention. Akin to the foot-in-the-door sales technique.

Similarly to disqualifiers, your FTCs need to maintain congruence with the future. If you say "My friend is leaving and I have to catch his car", well this is going to raise questions later on in the set. Keep your FTCs vague so you can have some plausible deniability to reverse it later on.

FTCs alone are not enough to achieve the purpose. To make it more convincing, it must also be combined with disinterested body language to really signal that you "don't have much time." You can do so by putting your weight on your back foot and slightly turning away, talking at an angle.

Talking About Yourself

This is great when you need a bit of filler conversation. Start talking about yourself and all the details you did about your day. This is the key to extroverted communication. Extroverts just love talking about themselves endlessly, down to the very little details.

Future Projections

This includes talking about your future and how she fits into your future plans. Talking about your goals, vision, what you want to achieve in the world etc. This helps her envision what life is like when she is with you.

Small Talk/Nonsense

Small talk must be done from a high-energy - playful state. The contents of your small talk often reference the current news and pop culture. The delivery is important because there is inherently no emotional relevance in small talk and it's used as a medium to impart emotions through the law of state transference.

Free Association

Free association is randomly linking unrelated topics together. Here's an example: (Pink phone case - barbie dolls - disney - Mickey Mouse clubhouse - golf)

Logistical Questions

The purpose of asking for logistics is to understand the situation of the girl so we can attempt the pull. Knowing relevant information such as "how everyone knows each other?", "where is she going?", "Which one is her friend?" helps us structure the pull in a way where it's likely to succeed.

Girls will just answer your logistical questions without resistance. So just sprinkle them throughout your interaction and don't stack multiple logistical questions together.

Sometimes logistics will just get in the way and it cannot be avoided. Asking logistical questions early can help you save time. Instead of clowning around for 2 hours and finding out at the end that you can't even pull her home, you could have gotten her number and moved on to other sets.

Verbals In Action

Remember the lego bricks? Here's an example of what the legos look like in a direct approach:
{open} - {interest} - {cold read} - {qualifer} - {disqualfier} - {interest} - {logistics} - {insta date}

Heres an example of what it looks like as an indirect approach:
{open} - {disqualifier + FTC} - {storytelling} - {push pull} - {push pull} - {interest}

Build your own legos by noticing your own conversational patterns and where you get stuck, and then make a conscious effort to replace different bricks to make everything flow better.

Conclusion

Let me know if I missed out on any verbal techniques. I think you can tell which ones I find are more important based on how much words I allocated to each section.

Best of luck. Please check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. Send me an email if you want a specific topic written. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students.

Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling.