A Quick Handbook To Diagnose And Treat "State" Killing Emotions - Dealing With Your Emotions Gracefully Infield.

A Quick Handbook To Diagnose And Treat "State" Killing Emotions - Dealing With Your Emotions Gracefully Infield.

Pickup itself is not difficult. It is the emotions that you feel while doing pickup which causes the difficulty. Heres an explanation on why you feel certain emotions and how you can resolve them.

Diagnosis #1 - Fear

Fear protects you from dying, literally. Everytime you conquer your fears, a part of your old self dies off. Fear exist to maintain your current configuration as a person. Currently, I have only found one effective way to resolve fear infield quickly:

  1. Acknowledge fear
  2. Close your eyes
  3. Feel where it is on your body
  4. Relax that part of your body
  5. Once it's relaxed open your eyes

Diagnosis #2 - Chronic Fear

Chronic fear is different from fear. Chronic fear is a fear thats irrational, constant and you cant get rid of it. This is a trauma responce that forces you to keep attending to your irrational thoughts. This happens because the body wants you to keep vigilant on the "threat" and be "looking out for it".

To solve chronic fear is to deeply accept what will happen as a result of what you fear. For example, lets say everytime you want to cross the road an irrational fear paralyzes you to the point whereby now you cant even cross the road. Well now, instead of getting paralyzed, just accept the fact that you may just get hit by a car and be fine with that.

Why would you do that? You might ask. Wont that lead to making the thing more likely to happen? No. Keeping it as a fear makes it more likely to happen. Once you accept the outcome, you no longer see it as a threat. Therefore no more irrationality will result from it, leading you to make better decisions around the situation.

Diagnosis #3 - Negative Experiences

Dont let your irrational thoughts and intepretations get the hold of you. Whatever the reason might be, you must realize that it does not matter. It does not matter what the reason is, because the outcome did not change. It has already happened.

Everytime you have a negative intrepretation, seperate the facts and opinions to make yourself immeidately feel better. The facts is always neutral and has no projections, there is nothing good or bad about the facts. It's impossible to have an emotional reaction to facts. Note how there can only be one fact and an infinite amount of opinions. Example:

Facts: The girl rejected me.

Opinion: I am so short, she must have had xray vision and saw that I possess a micropenis. Oh my god I am also so short bald fat and poor. I AM SO HOPELESS I WILL NEVER APPROACH A GIRL AGAIN!!!!!! <- you can change this to whatever you want.

Diagnosis #4 - Uncertainty / Anxiety

Uncertainty and anxiety is often caused by the fear of making mistakes due to the fear of the unknown. You dont know whats going to happen, think of approach and escalation anxiety.

Anxiety itself is a mild form of fear. So the solutions are similar. Accept anxiety and admit to yourself that you actually dont know what is going to happen and be okay with it. Be okay with all possibilities and all possible resolutions.

Diagnosis #5 - Negative Beliefs

If you deal with negative beliefs constantly interfering with your game, you can diagnose with the following reasoning. Do this everytime a negative belief pops into your mind.

  1. Is there any rational reason for such a belief?
  2. Could it be that I am mistaken?
  3. Would I come to the same conclusion about another person in a similar situation?
  4. Why should I countinue to act and feel as if this were true if theres no good reason to believe it?

Self Esteem

If I came up to you and I insulted you. "You have stupid blue hair". You will turn to me and laugh, "Are you blind? I dont even have blue hair". If you have blue hair, you would be triggered. Similarly, you only get triggered by things you think are true.

Stop taking things personally. It does not reflect on you whatsoever. Be so secure in yourself that you take nothing personally, because you already know who you are.

Keeping Momentum

To build state for effective pickup, we never remember and replay our faliures. All your faliures might as well dont exist and has never happened before. Go into your mind and put it into the recycle bin and empty it.

Only keep memories of your successes and never your faliures. Dont replay shit approaches and the stupid things you said and done like a song on repeat. The best way to build state fast and effectively, is to keep thinking of successess you have in the past.

You might say, "I dont have these successes in the past". To which I answer you do. Everyone has wins, no matter how small. You can hold those wins you had before on your mind. Even if its just one tiny success.

Conclusion

Frankly, there is an infinity of problematic emotions that can come up. These are just the most common. Maybe you can leave a comment if you want a certain negative emotion to be covered and I will add it up here.

Best of luck. Please check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. Send me an email if you want a specific topic written. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students.

Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling.